Behind Thoes eyes
by CourtneyMillennium
Summary: Alina Bullford is the new girl at degrassi. Behind her beautifull yet ghostly image,she has more than shes letting on. Besides her brother gone missing and her constant teasing, what else is going on? can declan find out? Declan X o.c
1. Chapter 1

The blooming red flower was everywhere. covering the floor and going out the door to the garden, where he had gotten them from. I didn't know what I was supposed to say at the time. My brother was gone now, taking all of the person who I used to be with him. I didn't know where he was, but I was almost certain now that he was dead.

Alina was my name, alina bullford. I was to be attending degrassi high today, and I honestly did not want to go, not in the slightest. My brother wasn't by my side this time, like he had always been when we moved. This move was permanent, or so my mother had said. I just dreaded going to school now, the teasing was too much for me to bear sometimes. Everyone trys to beat up the albino girl, no matter what.

That night I dreamed of the ocean, of my beloved California. It was the last place I had seen my brother, but that was 2 years ago. I'm 16 now, and my brother would be 17. We were sitting on the beach like we always did, until……a wave came. It crashed over our heads, but it only pulled him in. Not me. Never me. Why? Why couldn't he have gotten hurt for once?!?

I awoke with a start, jumping out of bed and going to my closet, looking from clothes. I decided on my brown knee-high lace up boots, I purple sweater and a jean skirt. It was normal enough, right? I didn't need to stand out with any more than I already did. My glowing red eyes, white hair, and almost translucent skin already did enough of that. I silently prayed public school would be better than the private schools I had previously attended.

I double checked myself before I got out of my car. Sunglasses on? Check. Hood up? done, done and done. I got out of my car, sitting on the edge of my seat, feet dangling over the edge towards the rest of the parking lot. I was starting to feel my throat close up, squeezing my chest. I pulled out the little pill bottle from my purse, and took 2. Five minutes later I was fine, but I felt numb. The oh-so joyful affects of medication.

I locked the door of my red bug- the only car small enough for me- and started walking to the school. It was a little windy out that day; I really didn't want my hood to fall off. That, of course, would reveal my hair, which I did NOT want to happen at all. People were turning to stare at me; this was obviously the kind of town where everybody knew everybody else, and I was def not somebody they knew. I walked forward, going as fast as I could towards the steps without running. When I reached the steps, it was total chaos. People were making out on the steps, skateboarding on the sidewalk, and goofing off. It was not like any school that I had ever been to, not at all. When I got to the door, it wouldn't open. Embarrassed, I looked away from the door and tried to walk down the steps without getting noticed. I heard a chuckle from behind me.

" Doing the incognito thing are we? The doors don't open for another 20 minutes. Too many people trying to vandalize the inside before the teachers get here."

" oh….uhmmm….yeah, why not. and thank you for the advice. Now if you will excuse me-"

The boy turned around to face me ,a lazy smile on his face. He had striking blue-gray eyes, brown hair, and seemed to dress with a lot of taste. He looked like the kind of kid that would go to one of the private schools I used to go to.

" Names Declan Coyne. Who, might I ask are you? " he was obviously trying to charm me. He was that type of guy. The rich, arrogant snob that liked to play tricks on girls for fun. When he found out what I _really_ looked like, he would probably send some of his admirers after me.

"Alina, alina bullford." he extended his hand, and shaking it felt so formal for me. This was something that my brother would laugh at.

" Well. , it seems that we have some studying to do." I hadn't noticed that people had started to walk inside, and I was blocking their way to get in. I was trying to escape, but getting pushed around mercilessly. My hood got knocked down, my hair spilling down my back. It was mostly straight, but naturally curled at the ends. If it was any other color……

"Hey! Are you ok? Quite a fall, wasn't it ?" Declan had started hauling me to my feet, me holding on to my sunglasses in the process. " Uh, yeah. Thank you." I grabbed my books, and started looking around for the office, where I was supposed to get my schedule. "Declan? Sense when are you nice? Willingly, that it."

An Indian boy had come up behind him, his arm snaked around the waist of a pretty girl with braces. "Sav, Anya." He nodded to them both, then turned back to me. " I was just showing our new student, Miss. Alina Bullford, to the office."

" Hi" I said in a small voice, waving shyly to them both. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sav gesturing towards my sunglasses, and Declan shrugging his shoulders.

"Well then, nice to meet you. Now come on Sav, we have to get to class." Anya dragged Sav away, pulling him by the hand. " Well then, to the office then?"

I nodded at him, following him through the hall way, trying to push past kids. Everyone was a lot taller than me- even the freshman- so this was quite difficult for me to do.

We arrived at a set of double doors, going through and stepping into a small, quaint looking office. " Secretary! The new student, Miss. Bullford, needs her schedule, please." The secretary even looked surprised that Declan was being nice. Was he usually a mean person?

" Oh, yes Miss. Bullford. Here." She handed me a blue piece of paper, containing all of my classes and locker number/ combination. "Thank you very much." I turned to walk out, when she called after me. " No sunglasses in the building!" I ignored her, running out of the room and down the hall, Declan chasing after me. "You heard her, no sunglasses in school." He chuckled, reaching for my face. " Now let me see your pretty eyes…." He pulled the glasses from my face, staring. I looked down, trying to hide my face; but he had seen me. Seen my disgusting, blood-red eyes. They still haunted me whenever I looked into a mirror. " I'm sorry."

I ran down the hall, and into the nearest bathroom. Why? Why did this always have to happen to me?


	2. Breath, will ya?

I finally found my locker, which was all the way at the other end of the damn school; but that didn't matter now. The sooner I found my sunglasses the better. I needed to get out of here. My throat was starting to close up again, and my chest was getting tight. I was having yet again another panic attack. I had anxiety attack syndrome, and it always happened at the most inconvenient times. There was nobody in the hall way, which was a good thing. I had to freak out on my own with no help, which was bad. I slid down my locker and put my head between my knees. I rocked back and forth, to keep from crying. I was already starting to shake when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Anya, a concerned expression on her face.

"Alina? what happened? Oh god, alina calm down, please. Come on lets go to the nurses office." I had started sobbing and hyperventilating, thinking to myself the whole time, _Kai would know that to do. My big brother has all the answers. Please help me Kai….._

All the praying in the world wouldn't bring him back, I knew that by now; and by the time we got to the nurses office I couldn't even breath. The nurse rushed over to us, waving her arms and pulling me to a chair. "Alright dear. in and out, in and out. That's a good girl." She was rubbing my back while reaching over to put a garbage can in front of me, which I proceeded to vomit into. The nurse left to left to get some water for me, leaving Anya and I alone.

"Alina….what happened?"

"Sorry….panic attack. heh heh……"I looked back down into the garbage can, still breathing heavily. " well I guessed that. But why? did something happen or…..what?"

I didn't know if I really had to explain or what, but I pointed to my eyes, and gestured down the rest of my body, as if she should be able to tell just by me pointing.

She cocked her head to the side, not getting it.

I sighed, pointing to my eyes closer and widening them. " These things right here! and this," I grabbed a strand of my hair, pulling it out from my shoulder, extending it. " This disgusting body I was born with gets me into too much trouble."

" oh, Alina! But your so pretty! I don't know why anybody would have a reason to say otherwise. " she smiled at me, not seeming to understand how much pain these eyes had brought me. " Declan he…he saw them! He saw these stupid creepy eyes of mine and I ran! I'm such an idiot!" I buried my face In my hands, ready to go for another round. Nobody has ever called me pretty in my entire life, not even my family. The only person to call me pretty was…..Kai. But he was gone now, so it didn't matter, not a bit.

"Alina listen to me! Your so pretty! who cares if your albino? I have no idea how the people at your previous school were to you, but the kids here are more accepting. Nobody is going to hurt you, Alina. Declan might be an arrogant snob sometimes, but hes being really nice to you, which is odd for him. He must sense something about you that he dosent like in the other girls. Give him a chance."

I thanked her, then watched her go back to class. I hoped we could get to be friends.

I sat in the nurses office until lunch time, then went outside to the courtyard, where a lot of the kids seemed to be enjoying the weather. The wind stopped and the sky gave way to bright sunlight.

I sat under a nearby tree, putting my bad beside me, closing my eyes and letting my head lay back against the trunk of the tree. I thought about what Anya said, about people here being more accepting than my other schools, and to give Declan a chance. I had never let anybody but Kai in, not even my own mother. so giving somebody a chance would be hard, as im not a very trusting person.

"Well then Miss. secretive, I wasn't aware that you were planning on coming back to show your face, after you ran off earlier." None other than Declan was standing above me, looking right into my eyes, seeming totally unfazed by them. " Oh…heh heh……sorry about that….."

"No worries, now then, did you really think that you would have to hide from me? There not that bad, once you get used to them. Their actually pretty."

" No there not. There disgusting, just like the rest of me."

He stared me straight in the eye, and had a serious look on his face. "Don't ever say that again. Your not disgusting in any way. Just…..different.' He winked at me, and hauled me to my feet. " Now, how about we go out and get some lunch? Nobody deserves this cafeteria food."


	3. Chapter 3

Declan and I walked out to his blue Porsche, and drove to The Dot, a nearby restaurant. It seemed to be the hangout around here, as a lot of the kids from school that could drive were here.

"Well, it isn't exactly what I would have liked, but we don't have enough time for anything else."

He pulled out a chair for me, then sat across me as a boy with pierced ears and spiky hair came to take out orders. I told the waiter that I only wanted water, but Declan re-ordered for me, getting me a chocolate milkshake. " You need to eat something, your ridiculously skinny." He had said, looking me up and down.

He had found my sunglasses, and I hadn't taken them off sense he gave them back. I honestly did not want people seeing these disgusting eyes of mine; not when they already had to look at my to-white hair and way to white skin. I felt like a damn vampire most of the time, and just hated it.

Declan waved a hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze. " You ok? You seem kind of outta it."

"Oh, im fine," I replied, taking a sip of the milkshake that had just been placed in front of me. He gave me a skeptic look, the shrugged his shoulders, going back to his sandwich. "Well, what do ya think? Good right?" The boy with spiky hair came up to our table and leaned his elbow on it, looking at me. "Yeah, its really great!" He smiled at this, pleased with himself. Then he got up and turned to kiss a pretty girl with a nose ring. " Hey babe, what's up? "

" Nothing Spinner, Just coming to talk to Declan over here about where he put the casting list for drama club." They both turned to look at Declan, who paused mid-bite, and stared at them in confusion. Then he got a look on his face that seemed to indicate he got it.

" I didn't put them anywhere. I had given them to Claire, that freshman."

"That, is a lie. I just asked Claire and she said that you had them."

" I'm not a liar Jane. I gave them to Claire!" Then they got into a huge dispute over who had what and where whatever it was, was put. Then Jane got tired of fighting, and ran behind the counter with Spinner. Declan looked pleased with himself, finishing his meal and put the money on the table. " You don't have to pay for me, I mean-" He cut me off, telling me that it was his treat. I shyly mumbled a thank you, walking out the door with Declan and getting into his car.

When we arrived back at school, lunch was just about over and everybody was heading back inside to go to their lockers. My breathing quickened. I didn't want to take off my sunglasses. It was to late, as Declan had already reached over and took them off for me and tucking them in his pocket. " You don't need these.

Your eyes are perfectly fine." None the less, I still kept my head down as we walked down the hallway, him sighing and pulling me out of the way every time a I almost knocked into someone. He waved me goodbye when we reached my locker. He seemed angry that I didn't want to show myself. I had my reasons! why couldn't he understand? I slammed my locker shut and trudged to my next class, which just so happened to have Declan in it.

It was horrible. Just horrible and utterly awful. Every time the teacher called on me for an answer, I was forced to look up, but no matter how hard I tried to hide them, they just wouldn't go away. People had always stared at me, but it still bothered me. Even more so because Declan was staring at me the whole class period. Was he trying to prove some sort of point? Because if he was, then it was working. When the class ended I jumped out of my seat and ran for the door, dropping my books in the process, which just caused more stares as I tried to pick everything up. Declan totally ignored me, still angry at me as he walked stiffly out of the class room.

~Declans P.O.V~

Why was I doing this? Why the hell was a so concerned about a girl I had just met, and albino chick none the less? Most of the time, I never settled for anything less than a blonde, tall, and perfectly proportioned girl. Unless I was bored of course. But this girl….I just couldn't explain it. I had planned on only flirting a little bit, nothing more. But when I actually saw her face, I w as hooked. Her eyes were a glowing, bloody red. Her wavy to curly hair was as white as snow, and her skin even paler. She was very short, probably only 5'0, and very thin. I wasn't going to lie, she had boobs, but she hid them behind her hair, which she kept in front of her body unless it got pushed or blown back. Alina Bullford was a gorgeous, and it seemed that I was the only person who could see it.

I had no idea why I was behaving like this! I have never treated a girl with much respect, only wishing to tease them; but this was something completely different to me. Everybody seemed to notice my kindness to this girl, as I got questioning looks from everybody, even the teachers. Was I really that bad? If I was, Alina was not going to find out if I could help it.

She didn't talk to anybody else that day as far as I could tell, besides our brief encounters with Sav , Anya, Spinner and Jane. Nor did I, but I never really have in the first place. Because according to these cretins, I was too 'stuck up' for them. Oh well, it didn't really matter much to me. Besides, it wasn't as if I liked her or anything. I was just I little curious about her. Just a little. I DID NOT LIKE HER! I couldn't, could I? Not after one day. Declan Coyne DOES NOT fall for anybody. Everybody falls for Declan Coyne. Or at least, that's what I thought before I met Alina.

When I saw her walking to her car from the park about three weeks later,- a bug. I laughed at this. the smallest car for the smallest girl.- she was shaking horribly. When I got closer, I then realized that she was also crying. When came up next to her and turned her to face me, she was covered in blood. Running down her face, from her temple to her chest, seeping down her shirt.

" What the hell happened to you?!" She just stared blankly, looking behind me to stare at some boys in school uniforms. They were all laughing and running away, shouting obscenities in our direction. One of the boys was carrying a baseball bat, also covered in blood. That boy was a rich, arrogant, haughty, disgusting snob. He was my best friends, Dillon Lancet.

When he saw me, he came running over, looking for high fives and praise no doubt. " Heeey buddy! Did you see my handy work on the little vamp chick here? Come on, you want to go for a round too?" He was obviously drunk, and he was growling and making strange noises at Alina.

" Yes Dillon, I saw." I was furious. Blazing with anger and fury. How could he do this? I didn't think he was this cruel. "Well how about it, wanna take a hit? We used to go to school together, the little slut…." H handed me the bat, and I just stared at it. Was I supposed to take it? If I did, I knew what would happen. I knew EXACTLY what would happen.

I took the bat in my hand, her blood getting on my hands. I held the bat above my head, ready to swing full force.

" im sorry, Alina." Her eyes got wide with fear, as she flinched back and closed her eyes. " I'm sorry that you had to see this." I swung full force at Dillon, hitting him in the leg. "AH! What the fu-"

I dropped the bat and punched him square in the jaw, his scream echoing. The other two boys that were with him bolted when I looked at them, my expression scaring them.

Blood was on my hands, and Dillon was crying out in agony. I felt arms wrap around my waste, pulling me back. Then there was shouting; more people than Alina had showed up.

"Declan! Declan please stop! Your going to kill him! DECLAN!" Alina was shouting in my ear, she had climbed up to my shoulders, hanging off of my back, not being able to reach. Spinner and Sav were pulling me off of him, along with Peter, whom I was surprised was here.

I was breathing heavily, and then shaking, then on the verge of tears. Damn him! He got away! He needed to suffer for what he did to Alina. " Bro, what was going on back there?" Spinner clamped a hand on my shoulder, looking at me like I was crazy. "That…..bastard……hurt her." They all looked at Alina, who was wearing the sunglasses. I guess she put them back on after calling Sav and Spinner.

"Alina……..I'm sorry. " She had turned around, her shoulders shaking. I could hear her sobbing; I thought the liquid hitting the ground at first was her tears-which it was- but then it turned into rain. A heavy downpour soaked us all. I started to talk, but she cut me off, throwing her sunglasses at me.

"What were you thinking!?! Do you have any idea how badly you could have gotten hurt if he wasn't drunk!?! Your such an idiot!!!" She was shouting at me, and her crying had seemed to stop. I couldn't see Sav or Spinner, or anything else for that matter. Her eyes were the only thing I could see through the rain. They were glowing a bright, bloody, beautiful red. I walked over to her, almost slipping and falling along the way. " Alina……I'm so glad that you are not hurt as badly as he is. If I didn't get there then….."

She had started crying again, then laughing at the same time. " You are such and idiot!" I laughed at this as well, finally reaching her.

~Alina P.O.V~

Well, this was surprising indeed. After getting beaten in the head by Dillon, Declan came and rescued me. He almost beat Dillon half to death, so I had to call Sav and Spinner to get him off. It had started down pouring, and I couldn't see any of them. Declan could find me though, and when he did, I was awe struck. He had leaned down to kiss me, but because I was 5'0 and he was 6'3, it was a long way up. So he finally gave up and picked me up in his arms, me wrapping my legs around his waist. Our lips melted together, fitting perfectly. He could look straight in the eyes and not get creeped out or scared. He didn't look at me and say 'ew'. He made me laugh, and we had fun together. He treated me kindly and understood all of my problems. He was my best friend, and my lover.

It was strange, actually dating Declan. We hadn't gone into school yet, but were instead standing outside of my car, where he had met me this morning. I wasn't sure what people would say or do. I mean, Declan was a hot, popular ladies man. I on the other hand, was an ugly little girl, who wasn't exactly that great in the guy department. Declan held out his hand to me, " You ready, Alina?" I nodded an took his hand, interlacing our fingers. As we walked through the parking lot the eyes of just about everyone were following us. His sister, Fiona, smiled and waved, then gave us a wink after spotting our hands. Sav said, " I knew this was going to happen the whole time! I just _knew it! Congrats guys!" Then he ran off with Anya, who also seemed happy about our 'coupleness' . I was suddenly all to aware that the guys were now staring at me lecherously, and the girls with either pitying or jealous glares. We had gone to his locker, then mine, ready to go to class. _

_Algebra was more exciting than before, because Declan kept sending me notes, which we passed back and forth all throughout class. It kept me occupied most of the class, but when class was over, it felt awkward to talk out loud again. We eventually got a conversation going, as soon as we did though, we had to depart and go to class. The eyes were still staring at me, I might have even heard a whistle from one of the guys. was albino the new IT thing now? if it was, then I was soon to be the new queen bee around here, which I did not want. I hated being stared at, especially because I had so many scars._


	4. Chapter 4

**Declan and I were spending almost all of our time at The Dot now; I didn't want to be home and neither did he. We liked to go to different places every weekend, but sense The Dot was close, we just went there after school anymore. it was never planned out, but there was a silent agreement that we would go there. So, we were sitting at our regular table- which just **_**had**_** to be in the center- when my mother waltzed in, seeming all business. You see, me and my mother were never close, neither were my father and I. They mostly focused on work, even when my brother was here they didn't care much. The only time they seemed to care was on birthdays and holidays. My mother was a curvy, beautiful blonde: the American dream woman. My father was a proud Asian man. Kai looked got my fathers traits. Black hair, tan skin and tall. Almond shaped eyes, and a muscular body. I didn't look like my mother or my father. I was very short, and my eyes were too big. Paired with the red eyes and white **_**everything**_**, I thought I was hideous.**

**Declan of course, disagreed with this completely. Actually, he hated when I said anything bad about myself, and he really hated it when I wore the sunglasses, just like Kai did. Anyways, my mother walks in and stares and starts looking around. When she spotted me, I could something was wrong. **

" **oh, alina, there you are! we need to leave, right now! its about Kai." That was enough for me. I bolted out, Declan at my heels. He climbed in the passenger seat of my car, and when we peeled out of the parking lot- following my mother to wherever we were going- he started asking questions. **

"**Alina , what's going on? why did we have to leave so hastily?" I was hesitant to answer, because he still didn't know about Kai. **_**I'm going to have to tell him at some point,**_** I thought, **_**might as well get it over with now.**_

"_**Its Kai, my, um, brother. They might have found him!" I said this with an excited sob in my voice, the tears already threatening to spill over.**_

" _**You have a brother?" He was staring at me, seeming confused about what was going on. So I prepared to tell him the whole story, trying not to leave anything out.**_

"_**Kai is my brother, yes. He's our age, but were not twins." He nodded at this, telling me to go on.**_

" _**He went missing 2 years ago. We lived in California before this, and our house got broken into…."**_

_**the tears were running down my face now, blurring my vision. I Wiped them away and continued.**_

" _**The men that came into our house were from a gang. They said that Kai was their 'property', and that they were bringing him back where he belonged; with them."**_

_**Declan seemed shocked at this, and I could understand why." He was in a gang?!"**_

"_**No, he wasn't. He looked very similar to one of their gang members who had run away. They had been tracking him down, and when they found someone who had fit their description, I guess they just ran off with him. After a year of searching, they said he was probably dead already, so we should just give up. They were wrong though! He just has to be back, I know it!"**_

_**Declan took all of this in, giving my hand a sympathetic squeeze. " I'm so sorry that happened. you must have been close. "**_

"_**Yeah, we were. He's my best friend" We arrived at an orphanage, which was located somewhere in the woods. We got out of the car, and followed my mother inside. When we reached the front desk, police officers were there waiting for us. " , we found a seventeen year old boy three nights ago on the coast of California somewhere, claiming to be the missing boy, Kai J. Bullford. Now, we don't have any reason to believe that he would be lying, but we just need you to identify that he is your son. This way please.**_

_**We followed the police officer down the hallway and to a room filled with children. There was Kai, sitting on one of the pale-blue couches, seeming very angry. I could tell it was him right away; he didn't seem to change at all. He was a little taller, his hair was a tad bit shaggier, and he still had that lanky-muscular body. He did look a bit older, yes; but he was still the Kai that I knew and loved, and had been missing for the last 2 years. **_

_**When he saw us, his eyes went wide, tears spilling out of them already. The police officer waved him over after my mother yelled to him. Kai ran off the couch and over to us, sweeping me into a huge bear hug.**_

"_**Alina! Oh, alina I've missed you so much!" my mother had already walked outside, thanking the police officer, going to the desk to sign Kai out. "Kai, where in the hell were you!?! Do you have any idea how terrified I was? " He didn't say anything, but instead just hugged me tighter, mumbling a sorry, and then a thank you. "Thank you, for not giving up on me. It sure seems like mom and dad care…" He went off, going into a tirade about how our parents didn't give a damn about him. By the time we reached my car, our mother had already left, leaving Kai to go with us. Declan had stayed silent the whole time, letting Kai get into the back seat. **_

"_**Well then, who is this young fellow?" Declan looked weirded out by Kais odd language, but answered anyways, looking back at Kai, who looked like a little kid bouncing in his seat. ' I am Declan Coyne, Alina's boy friend , pleasure. " Kai let out a long whistle. " Alina has a boy friend? sense when? God, you have grown up from when I last saw you. " I laughed taking Declans hand, intertwining our fingers together. We chatted the whole time, informing each other about our lives for the past 2 years. Kai had been in California the whole time, being held by the gang that took him. He finally escaped when they got busted for drug dealing, and when Kai explained to the cops his situation, they took him here. I was so glad that he didn't get hurt, if he did I would have no idea what I would do. when he asked what I had been doing, I of course lied, not telling him about getting beat up all the time. He had been there to protect me from it 2 years ago, but I didn't want him to worry now, he had enough to worry about. I asked Declan if he would mind going to my house today, sense Kai and I both needed to calm down. When we got inside, we collapsed on the couches , me leaning into Declan, and Kai spreading out on another couch parallel from us. We stayed quite the whole time, Kai fell asleep, and Declan and I whispered to each other.**_

"_**Well, that was quiet a reunion, wasn't it?" **_

"_**mmhmmm…. " I lazily said, my eyes drifting closed. He chuckled at this, shifting me so that my we were laying across the whole couch, his arms wrapped protectively around me. " You two seem to be very, uh, happy. "**_

"_**we haven't seen each other in almost over 2 years, what do you expect? and besides, I thought he was dead, so of course I'm going to be happy. But I wont forget about you don't worry." I laughed as I said the last part, Declan seeming to get angry.**_

"_**What, you think I'm jealous? unless your into incest, then I don't think I have any competition."**_

"_**The football team would disagree with that." He stiffened. " Have they been bothering you again?"**_

" _**a few disgusting comments, nothing to get worked up over."**_

"_**What did they say to you?" I rolled my eyes, he could be so over protective sometimes. " Nothing, they didn't do anything important so its fine." He was getting angry now, I could tell from his voice. "They did something? I thought they only said something. Tell me now, Alina." I sighed heavily, it wasn't as if they did anything that bad. " Just the whole looking-up-my-skirt thing and trying to touch my chest. Their just stupid guys." He was blazing with fury now, I could almost feel the anger coming off of him. "THEY WHAT!?!" he went off on a ramble, getting more and more upset as the seconds went by. "Ugh, Declan, calm down, it was harmless. its not like they actually did anything that bad."**_

"_**Well how would you feel if other girl were touching me inappropriately? " I thought this over, deciding not to let it go any further. " I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean for them to do anything…." he twirled a piece of my hair around his finger, sighing. " its fine." That was that, I guess. I untangled myself from his arms, sitting us both up, me sitting on his lap. I started kissing his neck, finally reaching his mouth. my skirt was riding up and going way past my thighs, and he could probably see down my shirt, but I honestly didn't care at that moment. Kai was sleeping, and my parents weren't home; they wouldn't care even if they were here. One of Declan's hand had moved to cup my butt, the other going to my breast. I knew we should have stopped, but the thing was, I didn't want to stop. We were boy friend and girl friend, right? this was what couples did, and it felt right. **_


	5. Chapter 5

Declan and I had been together for almost three months, Kai being back for two of them. I could see Declan's patience getting tested whenever Kai and I walked into school together, and Kai getting angry whenever I went out with Declan. They would learn to live with each other, right? What if they didn't? I suppose things would just have to go with the flow.

"ALINA! What in the world are you doing?" Kai had walked into my room, surveying over the mess that was now growing on the floor. I had moved everything that was blocking the spiraling steps to the other side of the room, still trying to work my way up. "Well, all of my stuff is up there, and I haven't used it in a long time. I thought I would start up again, ya know?"

"Oh, yeah. That violin and dance thing? You still have all that crap? You know what happened last time….." I sighed and threw a pillow at him. "I'll be fine. That wont happen again. I wont let it. " He threw the pillow back at me, missing me by an inch. "How do you know! That's what you said last time! This isn't something you can control, Alina. And I know you haven't been doing well at all sense you came here. It isn't something that I would miss. But your boyfriend Declan sure seems-" I was furious. He was NOT bringing this up again. "Don't you dare say anything about Declan! It isn't his business, and he doesn't need to know! If you say ANYTHING to him, I swear to god….." He looked a little hurt that I was trying to protect Declan..

"I'm sorry, alright? I already bother him enough, and I don't want to bother him anymore."

"Isn't that what a relationship is about? Trust? Whatever Alina. I just don't want to see you get hurt again. I'll let it go for now, but any more fainting spell then you're going straight to the hospital. Then Declan will have to find out. " Ugh why did he think that just because I was starting dance again, that something would happen? I was fine, whether he wanted to believe it or not.

I would never do that again. Because, nobody wants to kiss someone who has vomit in their teeth.

I had finally gotten everything out of the way and cleaned up. By the next weekend, I was ready to dance. The familiar feeling of my body moving fluently, and my hair fanning out when I spun: it was amazing. I felt like I could fly.

My dance history wasn't something I liked to talk about, considering that A.) I got so paranoid about how I looked and whether the guys would be able to lift me or not, I ended up being diagnosed with Bulimia. But that was caused by other things too. B.) It was just embarrassing. I don't know why, but it was. It was something that was only for me to experience, and I didn't want anyone else butting in on it. Sense I focused mainly on ballet, I was almost a pro at it. And at 16 going on 17, there were always letters coming in the mail for recruitment.

This was the only thing that my mother seemed to take interest in. If I was giving her publicity within her social circle, then I was her best friend. You have no idea how many times she tried to get me to wear colored contacts or to dye my hair. It was starting to get ridiculous. Once she found out that I was dancing again….Damn. Just…..damn.

I was feeling light, lighter than ever. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing, going back to the way I used to be. Maybe….It would make me stronger.


	6. Chapter 6

~DECLAN'S POV~

It was Saturday afternoon, and I had gone over to Alina's house to work on homework with her. It somehow seemed that she _always _got distracted with other things, and ended up just skipping homework all together. I was not going to let her go to summer school .No way was she going. I had plans for the summer, and they included her. I knocked on the door, and Kai answered; he looked very angry. "Your f****ng princess is upstairs in her room."

"Well hello to you too sunshine." Damn, why was he so mad? He shoved past me and walked to Alina's car, getting in and driving away so fast that it left skid marks on the driveway.

I walked up the steps and opened the door to her room. It was….clean. And there was a pair of steps jutting out from the ceiling in the back corner of the room. When had those gotten there? Alina was nowhere to be found, but then I heard thumping on the floor from the up the steps. And there was faint piano music playing. I called her name, waited a few seconds- no answer. I did this for a minute or two, getting louder and louder each time, but she still didn't answer. I decided that she must be preoccupied with whatever it was that she was doing, and walked up the steps. When I got to the top, the sight before my eyes was something beautiful, and unexpected. Alina, m sweet Alina, was moving across the floor is movements so fluid that it was like liquid gold. I tried to be as quiet as possible when sitting on the floor at the top of the steps. The room was very large, as there was a violin and cello in the other corner of the room. The floor was all of light wood, and the walls were grey stone, a mirror and ballet bar taking up an entire wall. There was a large window seat on one wall, and a door -leading to a bathroom probably- on the other side. This room was so different that her usual setting. Her bedroom was nothing less than a hipster-meets-artist room. The walls were covered in sunset orange paint, and the windows had beads as curtains. The only thing that wasn't vintage or dated were the stereo, Japanese posters, and Chinese lanterns hanging all over the place. She almost always had some sort of sweet-smelling inscence burning. I could spend all of my time in that room, all summer and all fall and winter. My room was completely different; everything was white, and the only things that showed I had any originality in me at all were confined to one corner of my room. Alina was a free spirit, and she was so tiny and vulnerable. I loved that about her.

The music stopped playing, but she didn't stop until almost 45 minutes later when she tripped and fell. She spotted me almost immediately, looking very surprised and embarrassed. "Declan! Uhmm….hi…how long have you been here? I mean, it's not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but I just uhmm-" I went over and silenced her with a kiss. She fell right into me, sighing. I giggled. Alina might be the most fragile human being on earth, but she could defiantly have her wild moments. We went to one house party- that resulted in her getting drunk and climbing on top of a table. NEVER AGAIN.

We have been together sense September 25th. It was now December 17th. We never went far- I didn't want to break her or anything. I was so afraid to hurt her. I couldn't say for sure if I was _in love with her,_ but I did love her. There was so much we were different in. Yet we were so close, I was starting to wonder if we would ever need to get surgery to be taken apart for more than a few hours.

~ALINA'S POV~

December 17th. I set up the studio again December 1st. The routine was starting again. I wrote down everything I ate- if I ate. I wrote down what left my body- EVERY time it left my body. Forced or not. I was starting to get a little tired, but I knew I would pull through. I had to. The other girls at school were always giving me dirty looks, and the guys were always making snide comments. I could never hear them though. _Did they think I was fat? Declan was starting to notice, too. When I didn't eat, when I slept too much. How I always seemed to be at the ballet studio, dancing and dancing and dancing. Dancing so much, that I thought I would never stop spinning. I wore baggy clothes; mine didn't fit like they used to, and sense it was winter in Canada, I was getting VERY cold. I know, so cliché right? I didn't care anymore. I guess you can never recover. It stays with you from birth, and never leaves you._


	7. Chapter 7

"Alina! WAKE. UP. Ugh, seriously…." Kai was banging on my door, urging me to wake up . It was Monday morning, and seeing as it was the middle of December, very chilly. I slept with numerous blankets and still got cold. If only I could have Declan cuddle up with me…I sighed and got out of bed, quickly running a brush through my hair throwing on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater. "ALINA-!" Kai was still banging around the house like he did every morning. I always had trouble waking up, and it just never seemed to get any better, especially now that I was always so tired…

When I got downstairs, Kai forced me to take a vitamin and attempt to get me to eat something. He acted more like our mother than she herself did. If it wasn't for him, the house would be falling apart. Mom was always at work, and only came home for brief periods of time; so that left Kai to cook and clean. I tried to help, but he always got frustrated with me and said I wasn't doing it right- maybe he really WAS a girl.

Sense Kai didn't have a car yet, he ended up taking mine, and I ended up riding along with Declan. He always seemed to get there 10 minutes before Kai started his rampage through the house- which always seemed to be around 6:45 or so- and got to witness our early morning spats. Kai trying to shove food down my throat, Kai trying to finish homework he was supposed to do the night before, me yelling at him for not doing it. Ah, the fun of having a brother.

~DECLAN'S POV~

She was getting smaller and smaller. Every day. Kai was always yelling at her to eat, trying to sneak….vitamin supplements into her food. They always seemed to be having secret conversations that I couldn't be let in on. I was scared for her, and for him as well. It wasn't just me- we were both losing her, but to what, I haven't a clue.

We arrived to school a couple minutes before the first bell rang, so we had to hurry to class. "Alina, are you alright? You seem….distant." She looked up at me and smiled, her eyes seeming to have an empty glow to them. "I'm alright, just tired." I chuckled. "That's funny, seeing as you do nothing but sleep."

"Hey! I do not! I just sleep a lot on certain day…" She looked mad- but it was so damn cute. I loved teasing her. "Ah, we have to get to class, we'll save this for later love." Her cheeks blushed a crimson red, and she looked away, embarrassed. I laughed again, and she looked up. "What's so funny!"

"Ohh…nothing." She smacked my arm, though she didn't do much damage. Alina only seemed to come up to the middle of my chest, and could barely reach the top of my forehead with her hands without standing on her toes. I sighed. "Lets get to class, now shall we?"

This math class was unbearably boring. I knew everything either way. And besides, the only thing I could pay attention to was Alina. She sat doodling in her notebooks- drawing flowers. Her and Kai were both always looking for some sort of red flower wherever we went; I even caught them looking it up on the internet sometimes. When I asked them about it, they always gave me the same reply. "It's for a friend"

"It's just…a very special flower." " We need it for something, ok?" It looked like some sort of Japanese flower, a bright, blooming red flower. If Alina's eyes could be preserved somehow, it would be in that flower. And by hell, if getting a hold of it meant that I would be able to look into her eyes for the rest of my life, I would do it.

~KAI'S POV~

This school was treacherously horrible. I absolutely HATED it. I got lovely little noted in my locker calling me an "emo faggot", and annoying ones from others, proclaiming their love to me. Silly little girls; I knew I was sexy, but come on- they didn't even know me. Besides, all I cared about right now was making sure Alina got better before Declan or our Mother found out she was sick. She has been suffering from Bulimia Nervosa for as long as I can remember. There were brief periods of time where she seemed to be getting better, but then as soon as we turned our backs, she started up again. She told me she hasn't done anything for the whole two years I have been gone- but could she really have been clean THAT long? I first noticed it when we were ten years old. At first we though she had a stomach problem; we wanted to believe it so badly. Then when we were 12, they gave her an actual diagnoses. But things were hell for the next year and a half.

~FLASHBACK~

"Alina! Come on! Let's go to the beach!" It was the summer we both turned 14, and the Cali beaches were surprisingly quiet. It was around twilight, and this was the time we liked to go down to the beach to collect seashells and thins like that. "I'm coming! Kaaaiiiii don't leave without me!" She was looking for her sandals when I opened the door, threatening to leave if she didn't hurry up. "One…two….two and a half…." She slammed into me. I reached down to steady her. Her shoulder-length hair was sticking to her neck, some of it stuck in the bend of my elbow from when I caught her, yanking and pulling out of her scalp every time I moved. "Oh- hold on. " I plucked the hair away from me as gently as I could before turning the door handle and running down to the beach. It was a perfect night out- the stars were bright, and the waves looked absolutely magnificent. Alina tripped more than once running away from crabs, and the pile of seashells we collected was impressive. "He, Kai! Come her, quick!" She waved me over, then ran behind a big, grassy sand dune. "Ah, Alina wait! You don't know what's back there! Damn it…" I cursed under my breath, then ran after her. "Aline what-" She wasn't there. Shit, where did she go? Panic was welling up inside my chest. There was a cave back here, and the current from the inside was very strong. The rocks were sharp….oh no. She probably got swallowed in. Shit. No, no no! "ALINA! ALINA WHERE ARE YOU! ALINAAAA!" I ran through the water to the cave. It was dark our, and there was no way she knew where she was going. I spun around wildly, tears stinging my cheeks. I felt a tug on my shoulder. I turned around in shock. "Kai. It's fine….why are you crying? Kai….?" Reliefe swept over me. I picked her up and squeezed her to death. Don't you EVER do that to me again, do you hear me? Lets get out of here." I looked into the mouth of the cave, staring into it's deep blackness. "But Kai, I found one of our flowers! Look!" She was holding out the red flower to me. "Oh…where did you find this?" The petals were smooth, and the fragrance coming off of it was sweet. "On the other side of the cave. There was only one left…I thought you might want to have it…..Kai? Why are you crying again? Kai-!" I burried my face in her shoulder and squeezed her as tight as I possibly could. "Don't go back there unless you're with me, ok? " "Oh…ok. I'm sorry…" I sighed. "It's fine, lets just go back to the house now."

When we got back to the house, I made dinner for us. Alina claimed she wasn't hungry, but I knew she was, so I made her eat anyways. God knows where our parents were- they were never home. The only time they were ever home was if it was for doctors appointments, or holidays and birthdays. It was almost as if we were orphan children with an unlimited amount of money. Not that our parents didn't love us, it's just that they were always busy. We were both worn out from the day, so we went to bed early. Sleep washed over me quickly, my eyes closing as soon as I hit the pillow.

That night I dreamed of flowers. Our special flower was blooming everywhere- all over the city. But then I started to hear coughing. The flower was killing Alina. A poisonous gas was released from the flowers. She fell over, coughing up blood and-

I awoke with a start. I heard coughing from down the hall. I saw a light under my door. Alina.

I ran to the bathroom, and opened the door. Alina was hunched over the toilet, her hair covered in something red. Her fingers were covered with vomit, and more of the red stuff. I soon realized the red stuff was blood. She didn't seem to care whether or not I was in here. She stuck her fingers down her throat again, nothing but blood coming up this time. But…..it didn't stop. The blood kept pouring out of her mouth, running down her chin and covering the front of her shirt. She reached her fingers up again. I was frozen to the spot, until I realized what she was doing. "Alina! Stop that! We have to get you to a hospital!" I knelt down next to her, ripping her hands away from her mouth, rushing her to the sink to wash off her hands. "Kai…it hurts….but it's not gone yet…" She sobbed into my shoulder, coughing up more blood. I grabbed a towel and held it to her mouth, running to one of our cars and sticking her in the backseat. (It didn't occur to me that I could call a taxi, sense our parents weren't home.) I drove to the hospital as best I could, nearly crashing into every over sign and car on the way there. I didn't even bother to park, instead just leaving the car idling out in front. The ambulance guys were sitting on the front of the sidewalk, and when they realized what was going on, they came rushing over. "Hey kid? What they hell do you think you're doing? You do realize you can't leave that car- wait how old are you kid-?" I grabbed Alina and screamed in the guys face. "SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP! Let me by, now!" I didn't wait for an answer, instead running into the ER, right up to the front desk. My words were muffled behind tears. "Now hunny, calm down. I'll call someone out right away. Everything's going to be fine." At least this lady was nicer. They rushed Alina onto a wheely bed, and took me into one of the offices to tell them what happened. So I told them the whole story, about her disease, about the past of it, and about what I saw. The doctor looked at me after writing everything down. "Son, you're one brave boy. Your sister will be just fine. She's very lucky to have a brother like you. "

~END OF FB~

"Hey! Kai! Hellloooooo!" A pale white hand waved in front of my face, or attempted to at least. I looked down, Alina. "Kai, why are you crying….?" I shook my head and wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "It's nothing, let's just go home, ok?" She looked at me skeptically. "Ok…."


End file.
